Lovingly Derailed
by Emerald-Latias
Summary: Just when Squall and Rinoa thought they’d been subjected to enough clichés, someone decided that derailing them would be just as fun. Will they ever survive this collection of one-shots? Mm. Probably not, but you can check it out anyway.
1. How Can I Be Pregnant?

**Lovingly Derailed**

**Summary - **Just when Squall and Rinoa thought they'd been subjected to enough clichés and tropes, someone decided that derailing the devices would be just as fun. Will they ever survive this collection of one-shots? Mm. Probably not, but you can check it out anyway.

**Disclaimer** – I don't own Final Fantasy VIII. Try to guess which one of us lowly fanfiction authors does. I dare you. ;)

**Author's Notes – **Being guilty of using some of these conventions and also being guilty of a really weird sense of humour, I got this random idea to do this. I've got some concrete ideas for future stand alone segments, so I'll update this periodically whenever I have something. That way, it won't really distract me from Reinventing Me or whatever else I might being doing at the moment.

There will be prompts at the beginning of each 'chapter' to give you an idea of what I'm attempting to spoof so there won't be too much confusion. I'll just give this thing a whirl and see how it goes. Oh, and feel free to suggest some tropes/clichés that you'd like to see get subverted in your reviews. I may have some ideas already but it doesn't mean I can't be all ears too.

Ok, here we go!

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_(Prompt: "...How Can I Be Pregnant!?")_

Sitting on a closed toilet seat, Rinoa meticulously eyed the two objects in her hands. One was an empty cardboard box and the other was its unwanted accomplice of sorts, reflecting a truth she didn't want to admit. Neither item firmly gripped between her vice-like grip brought welcoming news. No. She wasn't that kind of girl the things were depicting and this wasn't something she could pull off, that's for damn sure. What was even worse was the fact that it wasn't something she could undo with the snap of her fingers either.

The sad part was that she knew what she was getting into after mulling it over for what felt like an eternity and yet she somehow forgot to even think about some of the most basic of consequences. Right now, all she could do was stare at the box in her left hand in disbelief.

_It can't be,_ she thought to herself. _No, the descriptions were slightly unclear on for how long it takes for it to work properly, that's all. Yeah. There's no way I could have screwed up after preparing for this forever. _

She switched her gaze to her other hand, only to see that the action brought no more comfort than to stare at the thin cardboard box's fine print. Still, maybe there was a reason, a way to rationalize this into one neat little explanation. She didn't care what all of the signs were pointing to, it just had to be wrong somehow, some way.

"._..God, I hope that I just didn't give this enough time to change colour. ...I don't think I can live with this, never mind tell him." _she whispered under her breath.

_I'm talking to myself,_ she mentally remarked, _maybe I'm just going crazy and none of this is real—_

The non-sugar-coated and delusion-free reality of it all finally hit her as the droplets of saline hit her painted cherry-red toenails.

She'd now officially ruined what was once a simple, but good thing. Without the courage to own up to this just yet, Rinoa stayed in the locked-door refuge of the bathroom.

After she'd spent a good twenty minutes sobbing, she began to realize that it would only be a matter of time before he'd come knocking on the door. Judging by the clock on the wall, their reservations were in less than an hour at the new restau_r_—

Knock. Knock.

Speak of the devil.

"_Rinoa?_" he called out from the other side, "..._Are you alright? I thought heard some crying._"

"_Well_..." Sniffle. ".._.you heard right. Unfortunately._"

"..._Is there something wrong?_"

Rinoa sighed and got up from the closed toilet seat. There would clearly be no way she'd be able to hide this at dinner. Just no way at all. She set down the empty box on the seat and walked over to the other side of the room. It was only a matter of a few seconds before she'd unlocked and swung the door open.

"My hair's...neon yellow." she rasped, gripping the mirror in her hand tight. "I misread the box."


	2. Rinoa Leaving Squall

**Author's Notes – **Yep, nothing much to say other than I hope enjoy my insanity. ;)

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_(Prompt: Rinoa leaving Squall)_

It wasn't often when the Commander of Balamb Garden literally lived up to his nickname of The Sleeping Lion. There was always so much to do around Garden and yet so little time in the day to do it all. Slumber was a luxury that he didn't devote much time to these days but this morning was different. Yesterday, he'd managed the rare feat of clearing all the paperwork he was handed within the space of a few hours.

At first, he'd wondered if some faxes or memos had gone missing yesterday, but after borderline-harassing Cid and administrative staff in general, it turns out that there _truly_ was nothing else he had to clear, approve, review or.._.anything_. It was funny how after all these years of training, nothing had truly taught him how to cope with having nothing to do at his desk. Fortunately, Cid mercifully let him go home early before any other writing utensils had fallen victim to more senseless sharpenings.

And so he went to his dorm, still unable to do anything with himself. He would have visited Rinoa, he hadn't seen her in a while due to their conflicting schedules, if she wasn't in the middle of her Thursday-afternoon tradition of going to the local Laundromat in Balamb. He'd made the mistake of visiting her once before during one these rare occasions only to get roped into neatly folding her clothes as after they were out of the dryer – something he had absolutely no affinity for.

To make a long story, he took a nap when he couldn't think of anything else and didn't wake up until late this morning, feeling well-rested for a change without any of the normal guilt associated with that. When Cid had told him that he could go home early, he also said that he didn't have to come in the next day. Normally the only days he had off happened to coincide with whenever there were power outages or major computer problems, but the older man was always insistent in giving him _this _particular day off.

Squall thought the gesture was pretty moot considering no one else knew what the twenty-third of August meant, but at least it allowed him this simple pleasure. And now that the moment had passed, he got up in search of some coffee in the kitchen.

What he didn't expect was to find a note sticking out from under the door's threshold on the way there.

He stopped breathing after he picked it up. It was from Rinoa; he could recognize that small and tidy print anywhere.

_Sorry for leaving this under your door but it would have made things more complicated if I waited until you woke up. I'm leaving_

He couldn't bear to read any more after that sentence and crumpled up, tossing it to the floor with abandon. He already knew what the rest was going to say, he didn't need to read it. Besides, his heart was already in a vice already and a final crank would have made it splatter everywhere. He should have seen this coming. He hadn't seen her in a while and they hadn't had a proper night out in what seemed like forever. She'd voiced time and time again that he should try to make an effort to take some time for just them but he had yet to make good on any of the things he'd said to her on each and every occasion she brought it up.

God, he was such an idiot for thinking that they'd be okay since she hadn't brought it up in quite some time. Wait, had she been planning to leave him for that long? Better yet, did she pick she purposely pick this date to prove a point? It wouldn't surprise him if she'd known that he was turning twenty today. She did have a way of learning things about him from everyone _but_ him.

He hung his head low and slumped himself down to the floor after that thought. It was _exactly_ the kind of thing that caused their relationship to sink and now it was too late to fix it.

....What a grand fucking secret birthday this was shaping out to be. Squall knew that he wasn't going to need a hell of a lot more than just coffee if he ever decided to get up. All of a sudden, he heard the telltale noise of the swipe card and knew that it'd only be a moment or two before the door was going to open and Cid, Quistis or another of the higher-ups was going to see him on the floor, wearing only the crumpled pants he was wearing yesterday; he'd discarded his shirt to sleep. Not like the finer details would matter anyway. He didn't really care. He just hoped that whoever it was would go away and fast.

And just as he'd finished that thought, the door opened.

"_Whoa!_" she gasped. "_What are you doing on the floor?_"

He made the mistake of caring enough to look up. It was her. And now he couldn't pin down the feeling he was experiencing if his life depended on it.

"...You should know why, Rinoa." he dryly told her, taking note of the numerous bags behind her right after. Wait....bags? Wasn't she leaving him, not bringing stuff to his dorm? Unless....fuck. None of this made any goddamn sense.

"No, I don't Squall. All I know is that you're sitting on the floor."

"The letter." he tersely mentioned. "...You wrote that you were leaving, remember?"

"Aw. You missed me that much?" she cooed. He did a double take.

"—_Wait, what?_ I thought you weren't coming back."

"_Oh_." Rinoa had a smug grin on her face. It looked as if she was well-aware of the fact that the ball was in her court now. "Do you have the letter?"

Squall pointed to the crumpled piece of paper not too far away. She picked it up and started looking at it after she'd smoothed it over.

"_Sorry for leaving...didn't wake you up....make things complicated..." _she mumbled under her breath as she seemed to be reading it. Then, all of a sudden, she paused to look up at him with a big grin. "Aah, here we go. _'I'm leaving to buy a new wardrobe this morning. Someone stole all my clothes at the Laundromat and Selphie and Quistis aren't around for me to borrow off them. You won't be able to call me because they also stole my phone and I have to buy another.'_"

Right after this revelation, Squall pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "...The one time I don't meticulously read something from start to finish and it bites me in the ass."

She gave him a warm smile. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I have something to cheer you up."

Just then, turned around to grab one of the colourful bags and took out a small Styrofoam container to hand him. Squall looked back at her when he saw that it was; a single frosted vanilla cupcake.

"Happy birthday." she chimed in. "So...how does it feel to be two decades old?"

He gave her a rare smile in kind. "...A lot better now."


	3. Songfics

**Author's Notes – **This one's short and sweet. Hope you still dig. ;)

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_(Prompt: Songfics)_

Sitting there attentively, Rinoa let her eyes lazily drift on his figure, watching him move with every graceful step. God...could this day get any better? It wasn't every day where she got to see him before the late hours of the night, not counting the transient moments in the hallways where he was too busy to stop and acknowledge her.

_Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide,  
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time,  
The night is my companion and solitude my guide,  
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?_

But now, she had him in plain view and he wasn't moving or going anywhere. Not for a while at least.

She could hear him talk but it felt as if no sound was coming out from his mouth. Time seemingly slowed and all she could focus on was those intense blue eyes of his. Rinoa dreamily sighed. This situation was a blessing and a curse - that was for sure. She didn't know what to do here, the feeling felt so strange, so...foreign. Who knew that he could unwittingly be such a tease? She thanked Hyne that most of the female cadets respected him more as a leader than they ogled at him as a genuinely attractive man because of his perceived coldness. It made things more easy and yet so complicated at the same time – he knew that she was the only one with eyes for him and willingly let them stay that way. This made for an awkward situation now. She wasn't supposed to look at him the way she normally did but...she couldn't help herself.

He was _there _and he was oh-so _close_. Her hormones hadn't been _this_ overworked since they'd gone swimming for the first time together for Selphie's beach party for her birthday. God, was she ever screwed now.

_And I would be the one,  
To hold you down,  
Kiss you so hard,  
I'll take your breath away—  
_

Rinoa yanked the earphones out of her ears. She was distracted enough as it is with him substituting for Quistis in her advanced magic class. She didn't need a song to add more fuel to the already lustful fire.

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_Psst...psst...the song's Possession by Sarah McLachlan._


	4. The 'Oops' Pregnancy

**Author's Notes – **I know I already did one on pregnancy, but there are so many clichés that one part isn't enough to devote the entire subject on it. Don't worry though, I'll make sure that if there are any more segments (not that I have anymore planned at the moment), they'll be spread out.

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_(Prompt: The 'Oops' Pregnancy)_

Rinoa had slyly called both Selphie and Quistis to come to her and Squall's apartment for a '_jeans emergency'_, saying her favourite pair no longer fit and that she needed them to help her pick out another pair destined to claim the title of favourite. Fortunately, both had finished grading this year's batch SeeD exams so they were both free to accompany her. Little did they know the pair of pants were still perfectly fine, the claim that they wouldn't fit wouldn't be true for a couple more weeks or so.

As good as their collective words, both women arrived at 2 o'clock sharp to meet up at her house before going to the local mall. Rinoa cordially ushered them in without saying a peep in regards to what she was wearing at the moment. As expected, the fact that she kept mum on the subject didn't ultimately matter in the grand scheme of things.

"Rinoa, weren't those the jeans you were talking about on the phone?" Quistis asked. Rinoa gave them a cheeky nod.

"So...why did you call us if they're fine, Rin?" Selphie chimed in, "We would have still came if you asked if you just wanted to go shopping."

"Well, see the thing is that they're fine now, but..." Rinoa demurely hinted, twisting her eight-year old wedding band on her left ring finger. "...they might not be for long."

Selphie frowned. "Aw Rin, if you're worried about getting out of shape, we could always help."

Rinoa had to smirk when Quistis took it upon herself to place a hand on the petite brunette's shoulder. "Selph, I…don't think Rinoa meant it that way." the blonde mentioned, looking at the raven-haired woman for further reassurance. When Rinoa gave her a confirming nod, Quistis continued. "I think she's trying to tell us she's going to have a baby."

Selphie's jaw dropped. "Oh my Hyne, no way! You don't even look pregnant!"

"Actually, I've just...been careful with what I've been wearing." Rinoa bashfully explained. "We've haven't been telling anyone because we wanted to make sure that Squall would be able to tell Cid himself instead of hearing it through the grapevine. We don't know how he'll react so…we just wanted to play it safe."

"You two are both in your late twenties and have been married a long time; it shouldn't be that much of a surprise." Quistis offered.

"Well," Rinoa began, "he might fall out of his seat if he knew that this wasn't an 'oops' pregnancy."

"A what?" Selphie blurted out.

"An 'oops' pregnancy." Rinoa reiterated. "You know, when people get...too caught up with the moment and then they learn that they're expecting a couple of weeks after."

The brunette did a double take when her words fully computed in her head. "...You mean this wasn't a surprise to either of you?"

Rinoa shyly smirked. "No, this wasn't a surprise. Squall and I were trying for a baby."

Selphie's brows disappeared into her hairline. Even Quistis looked like she was caught off guard as well. "Nothing against you Rin but... 'Squall' and 'trying for a baby' in the same sentence doesn't exactly sound like him." the former of the two added.

"I know, I know...I can see why you say that but truth is that...he's been wanting to really settle down for quite sometime and it seemed about time anyway." she said with a soft chuckle. "Cid's finally seems to be easing up Squall's workload."

Both of her friends hadn't said anything in response, opting to look at each other for a brief moment before Selphie shouted, "My God Rinny, this is sooo exciting! You're gonna be a mommy!"

Before she knew it, the brunette essentially tackle-hugged her.

"...Easy, Selph," Rinoa said, "-you're going to crush me and the baby if you squeeze any harder."

"Oh, sorry." she mumbled. "I'm just so excited for you, being the first out of everyone and all. Do you know the due date?"

Rinoa was happy to oblige and answer to the first of Selphie's many questions. It would be a miracle if they ever hit the mall at a decent time.

-—-—--—-—-

After a tiring day of shopping, Rinoa finally set down her bags on the bedroom floor. Squall was in the corner, working on some kind of paperwork at his lamp-illuminated desk. He didn't seem to take notice of the noise she'd made coming into room so she walked over to him. Slinking her arms around his neck, she barely heard him drop the pen he was holding before feeling his own arms reaching up for her. She slipped a 20 gil bill into his hand.

He swivelled his torso to face her with one of those rare smirks of his. "...Can I say I told you so?"

"No, you may not." she pouted. "I still can't believe that after all these years; they'd still think the only way we'd get pregnant is if you knocked me up."

"Just let it go Rin, I'm not that offended." he told her. "…Besides, it's kind of distracting when you're looking at me like that anyway."

Rinoa playfully swatted him with a devilish smirk. All that mattered was that she loved this man — why should she care if no one believed her when she said that their baby was planned?


	5. Odine's Crazy Experiments

**Author's Notes – **Okay, this one's short and sweet. Needed to jot this random-ass idea on paper (Word doc?) while it was still there. Enjoy! :)

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_(Prompt: Odine's crazy experiments)_

No matter how long or quick her purposeful strides were, Rinoa felt as she couldn't get away from the lab fast enough. While it was physically out of sight at the moment, her mind couldn't help but replay the fifteen minutes inside of the place over and over again.

Sure, she'd been expecting some kind of eccentric experiment when Odine had contacted Squall a month ago, claiming to have found a way to get rid of her powers without transferring it to someone else, but this...was something eccentric didn't quite cover.

Rinoa wanted to shake her head at all of this. It was almost sad to believe that they'd actually gone along with this and went to Esthar in the first place.

Squall's comforting hand rested itself on her shoulder, slowing her gait enough to stop her altogether. She turned around, only to be drawn to the weariness in the blues of his eyes.

"I apologize for what happened." he told her. "I should have known better than to trust that cretin when he didn't tell me his theory over the phone."

Rinoa set the indignity and embarrassment aside for the moment and mustered a weary smirk for him. "It's okay, Squall. I should have known better too. I...still can't believe the nerve he had to suggest _that_."

This elicited a sigh out of her companion. "It doesn't surprise me that he lured us here with that small possibility just to get some more research done. The end always justified the means with him."

"Still...who in their right mind would ask two people, who aren't anywhere near ready for that kind of responsibility yet, to_ 'copulate for ze purpose of reproduction'_ just because of a new theory they want to test? That's just so...wrong."

"He's Odine. I don't think he had a right mind to begin with." he countered, before they started to walk along the streets of Esthar together. A good ten minutes was spent pure, untainted silence before it was broken once more.

"Just so we're clear," he began, "if someone asks us what his proposition was, just say he wanted to put the both of us in a coma."

Rinoa couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Don't want Irvine or Seifer to say some kind rude comment to you?"

He shook his head. "No. I just don't want Selphie trying to get us to follow through with Odine's plan just so she can play aunt."


	6. Novelization

**Author's Notes – **Just noticed a certain trend passing through this fandom lately and thought it'd be appropriate to act upon it. This won't be humorous in nature like the other ones but I hope you'll get something out of it all the same.

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_(Prompt: Novelization)_

Leafing through more requisition and cadet application forms than he dared to count, Squall Leonhart sighed. Not because of the promise of a late night brought on from the obscene amount of paperwork spread before him but because of the number of distractions he'd suffered through in the past couple of days; the nature of said distractions seemed to only impede any trace of progress in the war against his administrative duties as Commander.

_Knock. Knock._

Squall sighed again as he deposited the work back on his office desk and barked for whoever it was to come in. Within a matter of seconds, Quistis walked through the door; the bound stack of papers in her hands earning her a contemptuous glare.

"...That better not be a manuscript Quistis." he grumbled. When the blonde seemed to give herself away when she stopped dead in her tracks rather apologetically, Squall felt irritated enough to contemplate walking out of his office altogether.

But when he noticed her bemused expression however, he reconsidered acting upon the rash notion.

"This is the prior year's requisition records and usage reports you asked for." she told him curtly, walking a few steps forward to place the bound folder on his desk. After he verified it himself by flicking through a few pages for good measure, he looked back up at her.

As he exchanged glances with her, Squall suddenly wished that he had never said anything upon her entrance; the curious look on her face didn't give the impression that she'd leave without an explanation. All he wanted to do was get back to the ridiculous amount of paperwork he had in front of him, never mind create distractions on top of distractions.

But alas, she still wasn't leaving after a hearty half a minute of silence. -And so, he caved, indulging her curiosity.

"Selphie's latest project seems to involve making us all write separate memoirs about the last sorceress war for publication." he explained. "I've lost track of how many times she's visited me at the office with her working manuscript to get me to contribute in the past few days."

Quistis casually crossed her arms, raising a hand to push back her sliding glasses with an index finger. "This is definitely the first I've heard of this." she admitted. "Even still, I'm surprised Selphie's trying to do this. The market's already saturated with books about us and the sorceress war."

"I told her the same thing the first time she approached me about this and it didn't seem to matter to her." he replied. "She's convinced that this will be different from everything else."

All the blonde could do was merely shrug in response, though he did notice her attention seemingly turned towards the staggering amount of paperwork on his desk. "Alright...I'll leave you to your work Commander. If I happen to see Selphie, I'll try to convince her to stop interrupting you at work."

He curtly nodded. "...Thanks."

In no more than five steps later, Quistis had left his office and shut the door, leaving him to his own machinations once more. Or at least the action would have if not for his thoughts' reluctance to resume reviewing paperwork as seamlessly as he would have liked. No matter how hard he tried, whenever talk of the memoir entered in his mind, and it had even before Quistis came in with the reports, he couldn't help but wonder about Selphie's motivations for this or even if she realized the magnitude of trying to ask for such a thing from him, from them all.

Deep down, he couldn't deny that writing from first-hand experience would be indeed different from the dozens of books which barely tickled the surface of what had happened them, but...what of his personal thoughts and feelings, the very thing that would make the said new twist on the writing?

Sure, he could bet a pretty gil that people would be interested in learning about his mindset at the time, of all the things the history books didn't delve into but, would the truth of the matter be better or more interesting than leaving the gaps the existing books presents up to other peoples' imaginations?

Though he didn't particularly like the pedestal they propped him and the others on, it was a price he would be more than willing to pay for his privacy. His insecurities, regained fragments of past memories, the slowly blossoming relationship he had developed with Rinoa, their first kiss on the balcony – his first kiss ever...those things he wasn't even comfortable sharing with the people around him yet, never mind the world at large.

Mustering the willpower to not let his thoughts overtake him again, Squall picked up the bound stack of papers Quistis had given him and flipped through it until he found the appropriate section he was looking for in the weaponry acquisition records section and placed a sticky-note on it for future reference.

Before he could stop himself, his eyes slowly drifted downwards to the sliver of an opening of the top drawer of his desk, right hand dipping down to widen the gap further, pulling out the photograph he knew to be there. As he brought it directly beneath his face, the artificial light of room brought attention to the picture's glossy surface.

He smiled to himself, if only for a brief second. When the slight upwards curl of the corners of his lips dulled, he put the photo back where it had been.

_No_, he thought to himself, _these memories should still be mine, and mine alone. The rest of the world will be fine with the imperfect knowledge they've been given and the illusions they've made up for us. _


	7. Dream Sequences

**Author's Notes - **Okay, stepping back into humorous mode now. I'm personally guilty of using this convention at least once or twice so it should be fun to poke fun at myself. Hope you like this one.

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_(Prompt: Dream Sequences)_

Rinoa couldn't help but find it extraordinarily difficult to keep her eyes open no matter how hard she tried at the moment. Whether it was the lack of sleep she had last night or the fact that Squall was droning on about something she had the least bit of interest for in his patented work-mode tone, specifically designed to bore the life out of anyone within a ten foot radius, she hadn't a clue if one or the other was the root of her inability to keep her eyelids from growing heaver and heaver by the second.

"...Rinoa, were you even listening to me?"

"_...Huh? What, where?_" she stammered, her eyes opening wide and her head jerking back to life almost violently. Her boyfriend merely shook his head.

"In case if you didn't hear," he began with a touch of sarcasm, "I need some help with entering some data in the main computer systems, should be simple enough. ...If you're not too tired, that is."

Rinoa shook her head. "No, no, I can help." she eagerly offered, despite fully-well knowing how menial this task was going to be.

"Thanks." he replied. "Terminal's over there."

After he gave her a brief overview of the program, how things were to be entered and watched her do a few trial runs with the first couple of forms, Squall left her to her own devices as he went into a meeting not too far away in Cid's office with a few other figureheads across Gaia. When he told her that the meeting should be over in about two hours, Rinoa tried her best not to laugh out loud, having enough experience to know that two hours was truly nothing more than an arbitrary estimation.

As he left his office, Rinoa daintily plucked the first form from the relatively large stack and placed it in the space between her monitor and keyboard. While she hadn't had enough experience on computers to type without looking at the keys, Rinoa tried her hardest to save time by trying to have the page close enough so she could see it and the keyboard at the same time.

Keystroke by keystroke, form after form and hour after hour, she eventually conceded that she couldn't keep her focus on both things without straining her eyes by darting her eyes back and forth from page to keyboard to screen and that she was going even slower than if she were to memorize what was on the page and type it in after. In light of this setback, Rinoa swivelled the wheeled computer chair away from the screen to close her eyes and massage away the repercussions of her chosen method with her fingertips. She already knew that the damage was already done and she would be guaranteed a wicked headache for the hours she toiled away entering data, but it was the best palliative, although crude, remedy she had without leaving his office.

She suddenly stopped rubbing her temples and opened her eyes.

_He never said anything about staying here, _she thought_; he'll understand if I left for a moment to take something so I don't get a bad headache. _

_Wait. _

Rinoa turned her chair back to look at the corner of the computer screen.

_16:14._

_The meeting was supposed to end at 14:45. It shouldn't be too unreasonable to assume he should be back soon. I should be okay to wait a little while longer._

With that particular thought in the forefront of her mind, Rinoa simply closed the data entry program off and brought up a game of solitaire after clicking the card icon on the toolbar, figuring that she'd had done more than enough as a favour by cutting his workload by three-quarters. She stifled a yawn.

_Wait._

She stood perfectly still, not quite to the point of freezing up but close.

_Did I have to save what I entered today or did it automatically save?_

Rinoa brought up the program and the file along with it she worked on back up from the _recently used files_ tab. Once the program was reopened and the information filled the screen, she clicked around to look up previous entries from one of the menu tabs on top and browsed through the list that popped up in a new window, silently praying to God she hadn't erased three and a half hours' worth of work.

She dared to exhale when the last entry's data matched up to the first page on top of the 'completed' tray; the last that she would have placed in there. Even still, she kept both the pop-up window and the program's window minimized so that if anyone would be to blame for the files suddenly going AWOL, it would be the unlucky person who closed it, not her.

Rinoa stifled a nervous giggle, her heart heavily pounding against her rib cage. That was just far too close for comfort, she thought as she maximized the Solitaire game's window again and began clicking on and displacing the digital cards. The game's graphic interface looked far more polished and stylish than the computer versions she played during free time when she was in middle school years ago.

The mental note wasn't a complaint but merely something to get used to; the pop-up window informing her that there were no more moves available, essentially telling her she lost the game, was. She shook her head. Shouldn't the decision to start a new game be on her terms?

After losing twenty straight games and not in the mood to extend her massive losing streak, or to see the evil post-loss pop-up taunt her again, Rinoa decided to return to the data entry program to finish entering in the remaining quarter of files she hadn't entered. It didn't seem like he was going to come any time soon anymore after wasting a half-hour on Solitaire without any indication of the meeting's party coming out of Cid's office whatsoever.

Rinoa massaged her closed eyelids, alternating with her temples every so often. As she repeated the motions for roughly a minute or two without gaining any form of relief, she resigned to the fact that she couldn't stay here any longer without running the risk of getting into headache-induced sour mood for the rest of the night by not taking anything soon.

Just as she was scribbling a brief note to Squall on a sticky note placed on top of the unentered forms to let him know about her whereabouts, she heard the door hiss open. She stopped writing the said note and turned her head towards the door only to see Xu come through the door.

"Hi Xu." Rinoa greeted, trying to shoot for a cheery tone as she noticed the SeeD glancing at the screen behind her. "Is there something you need the computer for?"

"No. I came to see Squall about something but I assume he's still at the meeting." she answered, crossing her arms slightly as she took notice of both the finished and unfinished files piles by her. "Hm. I didn't know he pawned that off to you."

"He was going to do it today but that meeting got bumped up." she replied. "I've got about three-quarters of it done."

"…Alright. Just make sure you have the rest of it done by 17:00." Xu told her, her crossed arms stiffening a little. "I need them to go over the annual cadet admissions and we're already late enough as it is."

Rinoa nodded, conveniently ignoring the simple observation that the SeeD wasn't too pleased about her and not the commander entering things in. She secretly wished that she could have also ignored the fact that her headache was currently threatening to mutate into a full-blown migraine at this point and that forty minutes was nowhere from being enough time to finish all this.

When Rinoa covered her eyes with her palms after Xu left, she made the grave mistake of attempting to rest her elbows on a patch of empty desk space. The patch ended up being a sliver, the edge of the desk to be exact, and her arms slipped off the desk, causing her head to hit the keyboard hard.

Faster than she could say ow, Rinoa lifted her head and looked up at the screen. When it still displayed what was opened prior to Xu coming in, save for a nonsensical string of characters in the first text box, and moving around the mouse proved that it had not crashed; she breathed a sigh of relief.

—And then the subsequent breath was brusquely knocked out of her the second she glanced downward.

The middle of the keyboard was totalled. The keys were deeply sunken in and non-responsive to her fingers pressing on them, no spring to them whatsoever. It spelled out the end for whatever hope she had of finishing his work on time.

To add insult to injury or maybe adding an injury to the insult, she wasn't quite sure right now; the repercussions of hitting the keyboard were finally making themselves known. Slowly, but surely, the migraine was coaxed itself out of the shell of the headache. Her head hurt from the inside and the outside, making it hard to apply gentle pressure above her eyes to cope. All she could do was rest the side of her head on the desk and close her eyes, the action being nowhere near enough to do anything for her. Add the potential scolding for ruining the keyboard or not entering all the forms, providing that a substitute keyboard could not be found in a timely fashion, and it was more than enough to not want to open her eyes for a long time.

Even still, she reminded herself that any resolution to patch things up could not be done without getting up and taking action. And so, she opened her eyes roughly two minutes later. The next thing she knew however, Rinoa found herself in a dark room, her headache mysteriously absent.

_Is this a dream?_

The aforementioned pounding was replaced with fog. When she lifted away a set of dark covers —_apparently,_ she was in a bed all by herself now— and felt an eerie draft chilling her to the bone, she near-violently pulled them back over her.

Rolling in place under the sheets, Rinoa wanted to visually confirm her alone status brought on by the intense level of silence drowning her senses. There was a tangled lump of sheets directly beside her but it was nothing that she couldn't have produced by a little tossing and turning. Still, she poked her arm out of the covers and brought it down hard on the said lump for good measure.

Just as she suspected, the lump was entirely composed of crumpled covers, padded with a bit of pillow to boot.

From the right side of the bed where she was lying, the bedroom's door was off to her right, a lamp-topped nightstand separating the bed from the entrance. The immaculate oak dresser was off to the far right corner and the closet doors were on the opposing wall's left hand corner. Rinoa tried her best to commit these minor details to memory even though her mind still felt like it was in a bit of a haze.

With almost convenient timing, Squall crossed through the door's threshold and into the spartanly-decorated room. Rinoa felt a splash of relief to be among a familiar in this still-alien environment. A warm ruby-red blush spread across her face as her eyes felt like they were magnetically drawn to his through the darkness. It was kind of hard not to when he was more or less peering down at her from his standing position, the dim light coming from the door's crack outlining his form well enough to clue her in that he was minus a shirt at the moment.

_Yeah...this definitely feels like a dream._

"Are you...alright?" he quietly asked. Rinoa merely let the covers cascade and pool into her lap as she sat up, nodding back at him.

"I am. No need to worry about me...although," she began to answer, adjusting the front of the loaned wifebeater she was wearing a little as he sat down beside her, "I wasn't expecting to have a dream about doing your paperwork for hours on end though."

Unsurprisingly enough, she noticed that Squall had raised brows at this. "...You're not being serious, are you?"

"Nope. I'm being one-hundred percent serious. The weird thing is that I've never dreamed about something like that before." she candidly replied, the fog finally dissipating and a grin burgeoning on her face whether wanted one to or not.

By this point, he tossed her a look and a sigh, opting to say nothing more than, "Rinoa...just get it out of your system now."

"I don't know what you're talking about Squall." she wryly said. "I'm sure it's just a coincidence that I dreamed about paperwork after the first time I slept with you. I mean, it would have made a lot more sense if I daydreamed about sleeping with you while I was doing your paperwork but-"

"-Rinoa?"

"...Yeah?"

"Shut up."

She would have been irritated at his insensitive choice of words, but right now, he was an attractive shirtless teenage boy taking initiative for once in his damn life and she was in no mood to disrupt his attempt with any more one-sided banter.


	8. Mary Sues

**Author's Notes – **Yep, another random idea popped up. Blame my muse.

-—-—--—-—--—-—--—-—-

_(Prompt: Mary Sues)_

"Hard day at the office?"

"Hard...wouldn't even begin to cover it." he said, tossing his jacket in an uncharacteristically haphazard way.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened today, or at least from Rinoa's perspective, having shared a two-bedroom dorm for the past few months with him. She knew what the last week of the quarter meant. She knew it all too well.

"I take it that the female portion of the potential transfer student interviews didn't go too smoothly?" Rinoa casually mentioned, noticing that he was shucking off his boots with far more fervor than necessary. After the flinging of the boots, the extremely agitated expression on his face was nigh impossible to miss. _Must have had a doozy of a day, _she mused.

"I had to cast Silence roughly fourteen times and Stop maybe once or twice. Needless to say, we're going to have an influx of male transfer students for the second quarter in a row and I can't see it getting any better in the near future. I made the mistake of Scanning a few female cadets."

Rinoa wrinkled her nose. "Ouch...Read some impure thoughts again?"

"That goes without saying Rinoa." Squall deadpanned. "Some even had plots to frame and/or murder you on the mind too."

Rinoa wrinkled her nose some more. "Double ouch."

Sighing, Squall walked over to the nearby couch on the immediate left of the entranceway and deposited himself there. Upon hearing the dull give of the springs in response to his body weight, Rinoa joined him, resting her head against his shoulder. She was grateful that he hadn't tensed like he used to in the past.

"...I don't know why all of these female cadets keep on coming through the woodwork." he wondered aloud but quietly. "Or why they all have unnatural hair and eye colour with exotic names I can never seem to pronounce right."

Rinoa looked up at him for a second. "You forgot about the part where they all go to the same plastic surgeon and have the same weird sparkly skin."

Squall shook his head slightly, looking down at her. "Whatever, it doesn't matter."

The raven-haired girl couldn't resist sporting a broad smirk on her face. "I think it does."

"...It might if it means that there's someone is getting these girls through system and it'll require some investigation."

Rinoa rolled her eyes. "Are you sure it has nothing to do with you being, well, you?"

"Yeah, because I'm sure that all these cadets want to risk putting their potential SeeD careers in jeopardy just for the chance to throw themselves at me." he sarcastically replied. "Either that or they've all been deluded into thinking they're the physical embodiment of Siren and can face no consequences for their actions."

"Squall, Squall, Squall..." she chided, "Haven't you ever thought of the possibility that all these girls just joined SeeD just for the chance of bedding you?"

"...I can't see why anyone would spend that much effort. It's not like there's a shortage of men in Galbadia or Trabia."

"True, but how many guys have saved the world?"

"...Why can't they bother Zell or Irvine then?"

"Because," Rinoa began, secretly amused at how adorably clueless he was being at the moment, "Girls like a good challenge. And out of the three of you, you'd be the toughest nut to crack by far."

He gave her a look. "...So is that why you're here too?"

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't part of your charm, but I think it's mostly an 'opposites attract' thing between us. Not to mention you're easy on the eyes, so that's always a plus."

Just as she expected another sardonic reply from him, he looked as if he was trying to conceal the emerging signs of disbelief and confusion on his face instead. Not even a moment had passed when it became Rinoa's turn to try and hide the disbelief on her own face.

"Hyne, it's a good thing I'm not a ridiculously gorgeous girl trying to seduce you in an interview or else I'd have to repeatedly bang my head against a wall. I don't think I've met anyone so oblivious in my life."


	9. The Big Reveal

**Author's Notes – **Aah, needed to take a break and do another one of these. It's rather fun to do these little one-shot parodies, fully-well knowing that I'll probably get 1 or 2 reviews tops and being totally okay with that cause they're so fun and short to do. Way better than toiling and toiling away on something much longer and get next to nothing for all of that hard work.

Yeah, I'm ranting about another story of mine, but it's my one-shot parody collection so...uh, I'll add whatever rants I want to! Hehe.

Besides, I'm sure that all of you all have had that happen to you so feel free to rant back at me in your reviews. It'll be fun.

*cough*

_Anyway_...on with the show? :)

* * *

_(Prompt: The Big Reveal)_

Over the past two and a half weeks, to say that Rinoa wasn't feeling the greatest would have been a bit of an understatement. Squall knew this to be an understatement from unofficially getting saddled with the title of poor designated whipping boy during all of this so far. Sure, he was aware of the fact that it wasn't intentional on her end to put him through such torture, knowing that it was just an occupational hazard of living in the same apartment with her - a mature decision that _he_ and she had made on mutual terms a couple of months ago.

Regardless of the semantics about how he was being tossed around like a metaphorical ragdoll, to say that he was also a little worried for her would have been another understatement to add to the pile. Though he had had this flu a week before she did and it was understandable that she'd gotten it from him, another occupational hazard of living close together, he had also gotten over it in about three days from start to finish. She, on the other hand, was eighteen going on nineteen days of the same flu-like symptoms he had, give or take some minor variations.

Not wanting to unnecessarily scare her with a suggestion to see Dr. Kadowaki, knowing how much she hated hospital-like places from her mother's accident years ago, today he decided to spend his day off leafing through a few medical texts in the library to make heads or tails of this first.

Poring through numerous books' entries on the common flu and its variants, something happened to Squall that had not happened in a long time – since the Ultimecia incident to be exact.

He was genuinely scared.

None of the texts had said anything remotely positive for a case lasting as long as hers. Most of them suggested that anyone with severe case going on for more than a week and a half should seek medical attention or hospitalization. She had not gone and he had not prodded her to. What if there was a chance that she'd suffer from irreversible damage to her organs like some of the books had described?

He gave his head a good shake.

_No,_ he told himself,_ you're being as rational as a med-school student who thinks he has a rare disease he looked up from some common symptoms. Don't panic without proper grounds. Dissect this logically._

With those thoughts in mind, he remained calm and tried to think of a more simplified and rational explanation for her prolonged sickness, instead of assuming the worst for some universal signs. The hint of relief came after he thought back on her actual symptoms long and hard, ignoring the duration of them in the equation.

Following the train of thought starting to gain speed in his mind, Squall leafed through the same books once again, the only difference being that he attacked them with a broader perspective this time. Within a matter of an hour, he found himself branching out to other books to bolster his guesses, not stopping until he had something feasible, something logical enough to suggest to her, along with whatever solution would be best to cure it.

When it was all said and done by lunch time, he neatly put away his mountain of books and strode out of the library with ardent, purposeful strides.

* * *

By the time he had reached their apartment, he found her curled up on the couch, quietly sipping a cup of piping hot chicken noodle soup with her lap and legs covered with that knitted blue blanket of hers. She mustered a smile from the rim of her cup, letting the mug rest on her lap between her hands after she took a sip.

"There's more in the kitchen if you want some. I didn't hog it all this time." she told him. He sat down by her feet on the other side of the couch instead. Somehow, she seemed to pick up on his nerves from this simple action. "...Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No. It's not something wrong. Just something I think we overlooked."

She furrowed her brows. "...Wouldn't that be bad...whatever that is?" she asked, her inflections and pauses showing a great deal of uncertainty and confusion in them. All he could do was take a sigh at this moment. God help him if he was wrong...or even if he was right.

Regardless, he still needed to get it out there for it to be right or wrong in the first place instead of an unshared thought.

Looking at her square in the eye, he told her, "I don't think you have the flu."

This statement didn't help the state of her eyebrows any. Rinoa set aside the cup of soup on the end table behind her, poising her hands in her lap. "Are you saying that you think I'm lying about being sick?"

"No." he quickly replied. "I think that we simply made the wrong assumptions from the common symptoms you had after I was sick. ...I'm fairly certain that it's something else since it's been going on for so long."

"Okay...I'll bite." she said. "What do you think I have then?"

With all the seriousness in the world, he said, "An unborn child."

Rinoa nearly did a double-take. "Wait...no. You don't...really think that?"

"I...wouldn't be surprised." he admitted, breaking eye contact. "After looking at some medical texts this morning, the early signs of pregnancy fit better than a two-week battle with the flu."

"-Oh God..." she muttered, slowly raising a hand to her mouth, "...how could I have not known?"

"I could still be wrong Rinoa." he reminded her. "Just because the symptoms just happened to fit doesn't make them right automatically. There could be another explanation for this."

"Squall...I know that you wouldn't spend all morning researching something just to tell me something you weren't completely sure about. I just...I can't believe that I would be so out of touch with my body to not even suspect something, even despite the situation here. I mean, normally the woman usually finds out first, keeps it to herself for a while before telling the father when she feels the time is right. And as cliché as it sounds, I was always expecting it to happen that way...if it ever did happen to us."

Squall had a slight grimace on his face, combined with some slightly confused features. "I'm...sorry I didn't let you have that clichéd moment?"

Rinoa couldn't help but to slowly break into a warm smirk. "No, it's alright. I guess it goes to show that I should know better than to expect clichés when most of our relationship has been anything but typical." she commented before drastically shifting gears, along with sobering her smile. "So...will you be alright if your prediction turns out to be the truth?"

Without hesitation, he nodded. "I will be."

Moments later, the smile she had on earlier returned to her face. He couldn't deny the one tugging at the corners of his mouth either.


	10. The Hero's End

**Author's Notes –** This one is definitely not going to be a funny or heart-warming entry. Never the less, I hope it still resonates in some shape or form with you all (or at least those who bother to review).

* * *

_(Prompt: The Hero's End)_

The picture.

In her hand, he stared back at her from a point frozen in time, one taken roughly a year ago. It wasn't a candid shot, just one he had to take to update his Garden photo ID, a photo for which she had to bribe the hired photographer to send the picture file just so she could develop it into a regular photo back then. It wasn't the most comforting of photos, but it was the closest thing she had to one at the moment.

He — the commander, the world's saviour, the revered hero and now...the victim.

In the back of her mind, Rinoa should have been prepared to deal with this, fully aware of the risk involved with falling in love and growing attached to someone who could easily be here the one day and gone the next.

But this was different.

This was far from going on a mission and coming home in a casket.

He was already at home, probably in the midst of getting ready to go to bed from Dr. Kadowaki's estimated time of death and his state of dress described in the coroner's report. He did not die valiantly in battle, from any complication from a long-past injury or even from a successful assassination attempt.

Squall Leonhart had died from a complication from an undiagnosed heart condition.

It was the bitter irony that Rinoa wasn't prepared to deal with.

He was a fit and healthy twenty-four year-old who had undergone regular check-ups and physicals for the past twelve years or so – how could have something so vital had slipped through their fingers?

_Not like any answers they could offer would matter,_ Rinoa bitterly thought, _answers only help the living, those who could maybe get a second chance._

The raven-haired woman tucked the photo away in her pocket, testing out her brave face in front of the fridge's highly reflective metal finish before she'd have to go outside of her apartment and take the train to Balamb Garden for the funeral.

Her reflection showed a calm, blank expression with a touch of tiredness on her features. It was a passable brave face though she wasn't sure how long it would remain adequate as she found herself taking out the photograph and sticking it on her fridge with a small magnet. Rinoa studied his face only to find similar features staring back at her and for some perverse reason, she let out a small chuckle after she'd taken a step back and let herself lean against the opposing countertop.

"...I guess I can't bug you with that joke about married couples starting to look like each other since we never did get the chance to marry." she quietly tried to joke. "But it's okay. I'll still bring it up if you ever decide to visit me in a dream. I'll even let you roll your eyes at me."

Although she knew that the photograph wouldn't say anything back to her, it didn't make a difference to her as she sighed.

"I know that I should be the first person to know that you were only human but, I just...didn't expect you to go this way, Squall. You deserved better than what you got, you always did — in life and...I guess in death too."

Rinoa stopped herself before she said anything else — not only to avoid offending him further should he be listening to her from the otherworld, but also because she'd realized that there had been a grain of undeniable truth buried somewhere inside her irrational lament.

While his death was not one befitting of a world saviour's or of a SeeD mercenary's, it was still his in the end, no matter how anti-climactic it had been. And in spite of all the titles surrounding his name, he was only human beneath it all.

And when the tears started to form in the confines of her eyes, Rinoa made no effort whatsoever from stopping them from cascading down her cheeks to her collarbone.

Like him, she too was only human.


	11. Out of Character

**Author's Notes – **Aah, I just love doing these. My attention span's basically shot at the moment so these are good for me to write. People seem to be more generous with the reviews too so that's also a bonus.

Anyway, since the last one was kinda morbid, I thought I'd treat you to something more upbeat and fun.

_(Pssst....this one's also to celebrate our favourite Sorceress Lapdog's birthday too. Enjoy! :D)_

---

_(Prompt: Out of Character)_

Rinoa stood there in front of him, utterly bemused. This was almost too farfetched to believe, let alone to even begin fathoming why she was even facing _him _of all people.

"Okay, so let me start to get this straight," she began, "Squall found you on a pier in FH and told you that he could clear your name after all these years and prove that Ultimecia had brainwashed you into doing all that you did in the Sorceress War if you went with him to Garden?"

The blond nodded.

"And then you...told him that you didn't believe him, even though he came alone and completely unarmed?"

"And like I said before, I told him that I wanted proof that he wasn't lying through his teeth before I'd even consider going through with that." he answered.

She crossed her arms as she prepared to reiterate the more ludicrous portion of his story. "I can understand that, but don't you think that making him steal a vial of _truth serum _from the infirmary and inject himself with it was a little...I don't know, extreme?"

Seifer smirked. "It would be if you spun it that way."

"Seifer...." she began to chide in a low tone, "you better tell me what you meant by that or else I'm—"

"—Going to rat me out to Garden?" the blond finished, "Relax, I'll tell you. Hell, it'd be a crime not to tell you of my genius."

In spite of herself, Rinoa couldn't help but roll her eyes and crack the slightest of grins. "Brainwashed or no, I'm still not over the whole, '_you sacrificing me to Adel_' thing so this had better be good."

"It is." he reassured. "I didn't make him do it just because of his offer — that was just a bonus. I got him to take it because I wanted to see how much he'd screw things up here."

"I don't follow you here Seifer. You of all people should know that Squall's never been one to be anything but blunt — how would a truth serum do any more damage than what he could possibly do without it?"

"Because truth serums work differently than what most people, including Leonhart, assume." he explained. "The only thing the chemicals in the serum do is block the receptors in your head responsible for your inhibitions. Telling the truth is just one of the possible side-effects. Or if you want to be _blunt_ about it, Leonhart's going to act as if he got completely wasted."

When her face had suddenly lost all colour and she bolted out of the room without so much as a word, Seifer couldn't help but indulge in letting a few well-deserved snickers loose.

_No matter what'll happen to me next,_ he began to muse; _this is definitely going to be the best birthday I've ever had._

_---_

_Psst..psst...in case if this one was a little confusing to follow in concern to the OOC, I'll explain myself here._

_The out-of-characterness alluded to is different from most kinds you see in poorly-written VIII stories (or at least those who just have a poor grasp on Squall himself). Squall minus his inhibitions is not like Squall at all because he's all about control, and thus, he's out-of-character. In short, it's a different kind of out-of-characterness, subverting things up a bit. _

_And I suppose that Seifer one-upping him was also something different too, but I mainly did it because I figured it would be nice to have him win on his birthday so...that's another story. ;) _


	12. Gratuitous Fluff

**Author's Notes – **Well, I guess I cheated you of seeing OOC Squall, but seeing as I can tie this to another cliché I can spin on its head, even something I've been known to do on occasion...take a stab at what I'm going to do now? Yep, continuing the _Out of Character_ entry. This'll be fun considering I have to force myself to make Squall out of character. Now how often does one get to read that? Haha.

Either way, enjoy the present. :)

* * *

_(Prompt: Gratuitous Fluff)_

The instant he'd mentioned the words _'completely wasted,'_ Rinoa knew that she had to reach him and how. She had always known that Seifer had a somewhat sick sense of humour, even since the long-past days of their summer fling, but this had the potential to escalate into a territory that even the furthest reaches of '_ha ha funny_' did not fall under. Seifer couldn't have known how much responsibility he'd amassed since the last time they'd seen each other. He couldn't have.

She didn't care how many looks she'd received just by briskly speed walking through the circular main hall, all that was on her mind was Squall, determined to find him by herself without revealing Seifer's presence in the building by way of explanation or anything else — not that she owed Seifer that much, Rinoa just knew that telling anyone about the blond would not do any good, nor would the truth reflect well on Squall since he'd somehow managed to get him inside without detection. And with the latter in this particular state...needless to say, an impromptu press conference or Garden meeting would be disastrous at best.

Prying herself away from her nightmarish thoughts, Rinoa headed towards the infirmary first, reasoning that Squall could have wanted to visit there if he picked up on the serum's effects and since there would be less people around because of winter break. As she approached her destination, the backdrop surrounding her became a great deal more hushed, almost devoid of life.

...He had to be here, she could feel it.

Just as she was approaching the doors, Rinoa momentarily froze at the prospect of actually opening them.

As much as she wanted to protect him from ruining his career and reputation at the expense of Seifer's not-so-practical joke, part of her didn't want to know what he truly thought of her without the numerous filters and inhibitions safeguarding her from him. Still, part of what made him, well, him, was all of those layers protecting him. He still wasn't the most open with her, but he did have those precious moments where he'd divulge a little here and there; the moments she treasured with all her heart because they were so rare and far in-between. Good or bad, anything he'd say here couldn't possibly be as special because it wouldn't be of his own volition, it would be because of the undue influence of the serum.

Rinoa shook her head.

Seifer sure as hell knew how to pick his opponent's poisons, that was for certain.

Taking a deep breath, she latched a hand on the door and forced herself to open it.

...But she couldn't. It was locked, but she could some muffled footsteps in the background.

_Oh yeah, he's definitely here,_ she mentally concluded.

"Squall, are you in there? It's me, Rinoa." she called out. "Open the door."

After some more footsteps could be heard in the distance, Rinoa could almost feel his presence on the other side.

"..._I'm not opening the door if someone else is with you._" he said through the door.

"Don't worry it's only me that's here." she softly replied. "I know about Seifer and the truth serum he made you take to come to Garden, so you don't have to explain anything to me."

After a few clicks, the door slowly opened. Rinoa sidestepped past the sliver he left open and past him altogether. As soon as she was through, he closed and locked the door immediately. With no one around but him, it felt far too strange for her liking but the thoughts didn't last long; she soon had other things pre-occupy her mind, namely the person who just made a point of stopping right in front of her. His close presence compelled her to speak and try to take control of the situation from the very start.

"So...you having a bad day? I mean, it'd have to be if you locked yourself in here." she tried to josh. She almost flinched when he chuckled a little. Not the best of signs, she thought.

"No...it wasn't them, I locked myself in here for my own sake." he said. "My body must have metabolized the serum differently than I expected. I couldn't stop myself from thinking aloud...even after noticing the strange looks others were giving me. I think my career would have been over if you came anywhere near my desk."

Rinoa couldn't help but to blush a little. "...Seifer said that the serum only affects the part of your brain that has to do with your inhibitions. That's why...you didn't just say the truth when asked. Truth-telling is just a side-effect among other things...like blurting out whatever's on your mind."

"...And I suppose that I'm making you nervous because of that." he dryly deducted.

"Maybe just a little." she mumbled before breaking into a genuine smile. "I'm just glad that nothing bad happened to you because of the serum's effects."

"If it did, I would have deserved it." he sombrely admitted. "Nothing concerning this was rational. I let my guard down."

"Hey now, don't beat yourself up over this." she reassured him, closing the gap enough just to be able to bring her hand to the side of his face. "You did it to give him a second chance he didn't deserve. It's not your fault that you didn't know Seifer had a twisted sense of humour and tried to take advantage of you for his own sick amusement."

She did not budge when she felt a demure smile forming close to where she had her hand; instead, she stood her ground, anticipating what would come next.

"I appreciate you trying to cheer me up even if you're glossing over the fact that I could have easily tricked him into thinking I was injecting truth serum instead of using the real thing."

Rinoa had to smirk at his frankness as she brought down her hand ever so gradually. "Well, I do try, you know."

"I know that you do even when you think I don't. ...I just don't say anything because I figure that you'll stop trying to catch my attention with what you're wearing if I do."

In spite of herself, Rinoa had to do a double-take. "So...you _do _notice the mini-skirts and the low-cut tops?"

Squall rolled his eyes. "...I don't get why you're so surprised I said that. It's not like I'm dead. Besides, I catch you looking at me when you think I don't see you."

"That's not the same Squall — you're not even trying to catch my attention, you just...do. And trust me, you definitely catch more than just _my_ attention."

"...Alright, alright, maybe it isn't the same." he conceded. "Just don't tell me who else does it. I _really_ don't mind you admitting that you do, but I'm not in the mood to make any comments I know you'll hold me to while I...can't seem to keep my mouth..._shut._"

"God...that sounds so weird coming from you." she commented with a slight giggle before a glare made short work of it. "But don't you worry, I won't hold you to it. It's kind of nice to hear you run your mouth as much as I do."

"It m_ig_h_t_ no_t la_st all t_ha_t lon_g Rin_oa..._I think...I'm losing my voice from talking so damn much all day....well, for me, any..._"

With an overly dramatic sigh, she added, "....Now why didn't I see _**that**_ coming?"

She almost had to slap herself when he gave her a sheepish grin and shrug in kind.

Maybe it was better that the perfect storm of seclusion and indelible truths had stopped short and lost steam before culminating into anything that could have truly disrupted the status quo.


	13. Opposites Attract

**Author's Notes – **Well, it seems like we've got a new year on our hands. Perfect time for some nonsense from yours truly, right?

I'll just pretend you all nodded back at me, kay? Sweet. ;)

* * *

_(Prompt: Opposites Attract)_

With a sigh, Squall knew that his patience was waning fast. The ridiculousness of this all was reaching to dangerous heights and it would only be a matter of time before he'd have to say something.

Sitting idly on the chair facing his bathroom door, he bided his time before Rinoa would come out of there and it would become the time to say something. She'd mentioned something about how it would be fun to do something that he thought he heard in junction with the word washroom.

Of course, she'd said it in a manic rushing line so he wasn't completely sure if he'd even heard her correctly. All he knew is that the instant he'd let her into his dorm, she made a beeline for the bathroom while secretively carrying a large paper bag; the fact that he'd been hearing the odd clatter, clang and grumble from the other side didn't really help his thoughts any.

...And then the large boom was just the icing on the cake.

Faster than he could fully register the individual actions, Squall rose from the chair and calmly approached the door.

Softly knocking at the door, he asked, "...What are you doing in there?"

What he had not anticipated was the door opening with almost-violent fervour and, well...

"What...the hell are you wearing?"

The bemused reaction prompted Rinoa to smirk.

"Well, what it looks like is what it is." she proudly stated, handing him the now half-empty bag. "Here, yours is in here."

Squall didn't even hazard a look at the contents inside the bag, opting to keep his focus on her and the..._getup_ she was wearing.

"...I think I misheard you earlier. Then again," he began, eying the black cap, raccoon-like sash on her face with eyeholes, striped shirt and curve-hugging black pants, "I would have remembered if you wanted to rob a bank."

"No, I don't think I'd want to either, at least not for real." Rinoa added, tugging at the hem of her long-sleeve shirt. "What I said was that I thought it'd be fun to be in costumes."

_Now this all makes a lot more sense...sort of._

When finally looked down into the bag to see a cornflower-blue button-down shirt, dark navy pants and a plastic cop badge and hat, the remaining pieces of the puzzle found their place. He couldn't help but give her a wry look once he looked back up.

"...Cops and robbers? I think we're a little old for playing that or dressing like the part for that matter."

"Not quite what I had in mind." she corrected with a bit of a smirk. "You may not know this, but from time to time, girls like reading these horribly clichéd books about two people who should normally be enemies falling in love; it's basically like a cross of the whole idea of forbidden fruit and opposites attract."

"...And you want to re-enact something like that?" he skeptically inferred.

"That...would be the idea." she answered with a mild blush.

Instead of complying with her wishes or even shooting them down right there and then, he set down the bag in his hands and closed the gap between them, placing his hands on her hips to hold her close as he planted a kiss on her lips, continuing from there.

"You're ruining the whole allure of the idea, you know." she mock-complained between kisses.

With a bit of a smirk of his own as they parted for the briefest of moments, he said, "...Then pretend I'm off-duty."


	14. Lemons

**Author's Notes – **Well, I guess people still found the poll I told no one about. Not a surprise to see what was chosen as the forerunner though. Hehe. Well, I hope this won't be completely predictable.

* * *

_(Prompt: Lemons)_

Rinoa's surroundings were quiet, but that particular detail was expected, given the location. So were her next set of actions, which consisted of cracking open a thick, meaty book and diving head-first into the introductory page. What was not expected, the anomaly among all givens, was her choice of book.

Although only a select few knew of her love of reading, far fewer knew of her preferred reads although she knew of practically anyone else's. Quistis liked indulging in mystery novels, Selphie enjoyed fast-paced adventure stories, Zell pretty much stuck to Weapons Monthly and Irvine....well, to put it in sparse terms, Rinoa pretty-much had a feeling that he preferred the pictures to the words in the type of magazines he '_read._'

Squall on the other hand...was a different story.

Rinoa knew that he was extremely well-read, the only one more so than her (in her own _humble _opinion, of course) but it was impossible to pin down a specific favourite among everything he pored through. It was as though he was a purely indiscriminate reader, open to anything, especially when he was in a bored state.

From all the stories she'd heard over the course of the past year and a half with the gang, Rinoa had come to the conclusion that this was a carryover habit from his days as a student. Normally, it was quite amusing to see his nose in the most random of things when she'd drop by for a visit to his office or dorm unannounced.

After she flipped to the next page, something she saw out of the corner of her eye prompted Rinoa to hastily wedge her finger in the fold as a temporary bookmark and close the book. Turning to look on either side of her, she was rewarded with nothing, only to come to the conclusion that she had been mistaken and perhaps slightly paranoid.

"...I didn't know you read horror books."

Rinoa jumped as her loud yelp caught the attention of the closer passersby, causing them to stare at the Commander and herself at the moment. Needless to say, this didn't help her already-flushed cheeks any as she looked up.

"I wanted to branch out reading-wise." she quietly told him. The look on his face still did not help her cause any. "I mean, you poring whatever you happen to find made me think about how I just have this teeny niche of stuff I read."

".._.You said the exact same thing when I asked you what you were reading in your dorm the other day. You're lying._" he pointedly said in a register barely above whisper-level.

Pretty sure that she was running up a fever at this point, Rinoa made an effort to calm down and talk about the incident rather than to side-step around it. "...Alright, maybe I'm just trying to distract myself with something that's completely not my thing after how weird things got after you were reading over my shoulder then."

Pausing for a moment, Rinoa sighed a little.

"No offense but...I don't think I can look at another lemon the same way ever again."

Squall tossed her a rather quizzical look. "...The lemon meringue you forced me to help make from that cookbook wasn't bad."

Rinoa tossed him a quizzical look of her own. "...You actually tasted it after it went all over you when I dropped it?"

"It's kinda hard not to when some of it was on my face, Rinoa." he dryly began before bending over slightly to whisper in her ear. "..._And, I'm sure you must have tasted it at some point too._"

Rinoa had to concede with a nod and a bit of a blush forming on her features; she had indeed tasted some meringue on his lips on that fateful day.


	15. Self Inserts

**Author's Notes – **Since I've been waiting for someone to break the tie between Amnesia and Second Generation for the longest time to no avail, guess what move I'm gonna pull?

Self-Inserts of course! ;D

Should be fun, seeing as I've never done one of these before. And yes, that really is me I'm describing in there, just so you guys know, quirks and all.

* * *

_(Prompt: Self-Inserts)_

If little else could have been said about today, it was an uncharacteristically-gloomy day in Balamb this morning.

Well, truth be told, I really have no right to be the authority on Balamb's weather seeing as I've only experienced a mere sliver of it playing through the game before I somehow wound up in the game itself.

Now how I even managed that, I don't have a single clue but I'm assuming that this is just a really cool dream or hallucination. Oh, and while I'm on this topic, whoever thought up that whole 'my game console sucked me in' theory in the first place really needs to be shot. Seriously, I've shocked myself at least twice trying to plug in my PS3 and going any further from something like that is just fantastical plot convenience.

Yeeeah…I guess I never really mentioned my rampant cynicism, now did I?

Well, now you know…or would know if you were the park bench I'm sitting on…and you happened to be telepathic. Okay…I'll just mentally shut up now. I think I can see someone in the distance anyway.

…And I'll just grab that newspaper on my right and pretend to read just in case it's someone I know from the game. You never know how good your luck is whenever you dream or hallucinate, after all.

As the footsteps grew louder, I peeked over my paper and sure enough, I saw Squall and Rinoa walking this way, wearing the same clothes they had been wearing in the game; I smiled to myself after raising the paper to hide my face once more. I know this practically breaks all rules of putting yourself in the game but, I have to admit that they really do make a cute couple. I hope they're happy in whatever context this dream or hallucination put them in.

"…Excuse me?" It was Rinoa's voice.

Hm…was she trying to talk to me? I lowered the paper a fraction. Sure enough, she and Squall were standing in front of me, roughly a footstep's distance away.

"Sorry to bother you but, do you happen to know the time by any chance?" she asked.

Without so much as a word back at her, I folded the paper completely and moved the left sleeve of my sweater back to reveal the face of my ever-present watch — real life habit, just so you know — and check the time before I looked up again.

Secretely praying not to fumble the words and sound like a complete idiot in front of them, I made sure that I carefully enunciated my words when I told her, "It's about two-thirty."

"Thanks." she replied, flashing me one of her trademark smiles afterwards. I think Squall even acknowledged my existence with a nod too before they both continued walking to wherever it was they were headed.

_God,_ I thought to myself, _this has got to be the best dream or hallucination __**ever.**_


	16. Unrequited Feelings

**Author's Notes – **It's been awhile — understatement of the year(s) — but I kinda only update these if I have useable ideas so… here it is. I kinda made Rinoa a little sassy here for the lulz. Hope you still enjoy.

(Also, if you follow any of my other works, I'm not dead and they're not on hiatus, I've just been busily scribbling out notes for a metric ton of future chapters…rather compulsively.)

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

_(Prompt: Unrequited Feelings)_

Squall Leonhart is a jerk. Bastard. Ass. Jerk-ass. Bastard-jerk. All of the above, really. _Yeah._

…And I was hopelessly attracted to him still. Pretty much like a tin can lid was hopelessly attracted to the magnetized can opener even though…well you see where I'm going with this. Not pretty.

—See how bad I have it?

I'm making hilariously-bad analogies. Painful, too.

Rinoa Heartilly is an infatuated idiot. Mess. Klutz. Idiot klutz. Messy idiot. All of the above, really. _Double yeah._

Over the past few weeks, I've been trying to subtly ask the group what his deal was to make sure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree. Again, bad analogy but you get what I mean. Well, I hope you do. Anyway, my only proof was basically that I had caught him looking at my chest a couple of times when we'd danced that waltz at the ball when we'd first met. …Or maybe it was because I'm half a head shorter than him and he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to hack off his arms. Either were plausible scenarios, I figured…making it not-proof.

So, yeah…about that 'subtly asking' thing, I pretty much got nothing from anyone and what little I did get in replies were in the form of jokes. Really bad ones at that. And I'd giggled at them, I'll admit it.

Figuring that sneakily attempting to gather info/jokes and calling him out on his shit was getting me nowhere, I figured that maybe I needed something in common to break the ice so then I thought that maybe it'd be neat to have the same cool ring he had. That…didn't go so well either. I forgot that temporary thievery and being painfully-transparent usually isn't the way to impress someone.

Ugh. …Why do I do this to myself? This isn't ever gonna happen. Besides, I should know better. I hear that relationships that start under intense circumstances never last anyway.

And I really shouldn't be thinking this as we're just about to defeat Edea but…the mind is funny like that when you need to concentrate the _most—_

_—Suddenly,_ I'm drifting in space, and I see and hear Squall trying to reach me. As he finally catches me and we somehow make it to this errant spaceship before our air runs out, I can't help but suspect that my unrequited feelings had turned _very _requited while I was unconscious.

I mean, nobody jumps out in space for a girl they find annoying as hell. That'd be crazier than the idea of jumping out in space already is.

Now I just need a hug to make sure this isn't another comatose dream and to see if I was right about the requited thing.

…And he decides to lecture me about how we're not out of the woods (space?) yet and doesn't throw me a bone.

But you know what? That's ok. I probably would have felt cheated if I'd conveniently skipped past all that usual awkward stuff anyway.


End file.
